I just wish I’m not disturbing this space-time continuum by writing this and decreasing my chances to know “that guy” if I haven’t yet or if I have, my chances to counter him again. It would be hard for me to put this “that guy” under any category because how can I put something who is just out of this world under some levels which this world has created. At least I don’t have any intentions to limit the possibility and I wanna know how much this “that guy” can drug me.
I don’t even know what I know when I think about him. It’s just so certain and uncertain at the same time and that is why I know it’s something true. This labyrinth to figure out what it is all about, but I think it’s for the best if I just let it be only this way. You know what they say everything happens for a reason and if this is true I’m living that reasoning right now.
28/Dec/2020: It’s raining and some good old 90’s melody is up. And idk what’s with the rain and music together, but it’s a deadly combination which always brings up the words which only my heart knows not my head. So I can assume it’s my subconscious playing or maybe be not. Whom am I to judge my own rainy night thoughts.
All I know sometimes you just feel like writing out loud. I’m such a weird soul, never that person who usually “says it out loud”. But words flow when I feel the gravity of my thoughts which sometimes came from nowhere.
So there’s this guy, just this guy I don’t even know if I met him someplace or is he just my imagination lingering somewhere deep inside my heart. Not gonna say head, I’m very well aware of that place. But my heart well I believe we all can relate this that our hearts like to play it complicated and mysterious.
This guy is not my type, I don’t even have a type. All I know is this guy has something unique, something familiar, something which only I can see. Again idk if I met him or not. But he can’t be fictional because of the way he is inside my thoughts, it’s not possible. He must have come from somewhere. Somewhere from my definition of love.
He is definitely not perfect because I always hated this word. He is not someone you would fall for instantly but he is someone you will not regret falling after. No, he doesn’t have the IQ of 160 or Mercedes. But he must have a heart of something which I can’t even put a price on.
The way he sees this world is amazing. The poor is not needy in his eyes. He must love those faded blue jeans and white tee, he must have otherwise it would be a waste of his brown eyes.
Maybe I met him someplace while fixing the backstage lights and sound system. Or maybe sometimes at night when I was rushing through those boulevards. Maybe I never had a sight of him or it’s just inside my heart like some pseudowords. That I’m not certain. But the one thing I’m certain of is my definition of love. Or at least he should have shown me what love is.
That’s all I am able to conclude “that guy”. My thoughts and my love for him are still in a hollow transition that while journeying through I can’t hit anything, one can only flow and wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.
And if I met him already, I must have lost him. That’s why I only have these words but I’m glad he showed me something which my eyes still see and if he is just a hollow shadow lingering inside my heart, I would love to live in this Las Noches.
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