Dear Society – Stop defining ‘Good Girl’ for us – Period.
Gender seems to be one of the most dominant variables that impact human development from conception to death, particularly in our Indian society. Leaving aside one’s class, race, age, religion, and ethnicity.
“You’re Not Like Other Girls” – Is this a Compliment?? Yes, or May be Not.
Well agree or not, this remark had literally inundated many of the chick flicks we all have grown up watching, but for me I feel underneath this thin complimentary surface lies Linguistic Misogyny coz by saying this, lies layers of hidden insults for other women as this phrase begs the question with what’s wrong with the “Other Girls” I wonder… lol 😉 In fact these are behaviors that the society we live in fosters in each one of us.
Let’s talk about the advertising influence of the beauty industry, the relentless bombardment of communications and stories of cliques, ‘Mean Girls’ and popularity. Rather than doing anything trailblazing and critically looking at these behaviors, the phrase just continues a narrative in which women are pitted against each other. It’s also something of a lazy compliment. Instead of commenting on her achievements, talents or character, and recognizing her for the individual she is, it implies that the sum of her value is in being the opposite of ‘Other Girls’.
Well coming to think of it and I am assertive that each one of you reading this will agree that we live in a world that is exclusively designed just and just for “Heterosexual Men” – I hope I’m making sense as the intent is to 😉 lol…
Don’t you think that over the time and somewhere or the other we have labelled self – assertion as “Manly Characteristic” and thus Femininity resonated subservience. Growing up I’m pretty much sure we have heard this a lot of time and in myriad ways of course 😉 that Don’t cry like a girl or don’t behave like one(I’m sure there are more variations to this, man up and have the balls to do and face things. But when it comes to we girls, it’s a lot more different and fun as they are our confidantes and mind you there isn’t nothing remotely malicious about this bond that we share with our “Girl Gang” or our “Coterie” hence, it ain’t atypical to ideate that the statement “Be a Man” is some kind of a goal that needs to be achieved.
Well, when I’m told that – “Hey, You’re Not Like Other Girls” it does offend me immensely, no idea why but it does 😊 as my only competition all my life has been – I – Me – Myself every time I look myself in the mirror I go all-out to be better than what I was yesterday or even an hour back and when it comes to other women out there, I simply admire each and every aspect of them no matter who, right from my parents, cousins, friends, relatives, house help, or even any stranger that I could possibly cross path with and so on and so forth. I love and want to absorb certain qualities like being ambitious, kind, beautiful, empathetic and the list is pretty long as the best way to live life is to unlearn and adapt different twists and turns on this journey called life.
I feel that it’s the way things are projected is what matters, if we assume that she envy’s me or I wish I had what she has, the spectacle will turn out to be muddy, hence we should stop being sold to false notions that instills that women hate each other instead let go of presumed ego clashes and embrace each other’s differences.
So, I hope going forward we don’t fall for “You’re Not Like Other Girls” and take it as a compliment. I’d say Chant this mantra – Hey Gurl, there is absolutely no need to rely on anyone but yourself and its only You and solely You who is your own competition, so kick off the comparison and embrace the differences.
I blindly believe in this.
Always remember this – YOU’RE NOT
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