Strawberries and Cigarettes
“Because no one is bad, they all have their own hells which they are going through and what else you expect from blazing fire but here’s a thing, they all have this great kind thing which right eyes can always see, which can always ALWAYS overshadow all those bad things.”
When was the last time you met the so-called “perfect soul”. Not the perfect according to the Oxford Dictionary but according to you. And I can bet that certainly, you would have met someone like that. For you, you would have met such a person which is perfect for you, you are not sure about the world but definitely for “your world” that person seems perfect to you. But then they say “perfection is boring” or “there’s no such thing as perfect”.
But then why is your heart yelling like a retard and saying to you that this is it, this person is the one “JUST PERFECT”. And here I am writing about someone who felt like a perfect soul to me, don’t get me wrong I’m not particularly fascinated about one person here but all the souls I’ve ever encountered who seem perfect to me.
But you know what they say “Writing about a person seems fascinating but what’s not fascinating is the reason to write about someone.” And now tell me, how long you find that person “perfect”. With time we grow, and when we grow we learn new things about life and according to that we set our goals and with that sometimes when we look back to the very definition of that perfectness, now have changed. “Your world” has changed now, you are in a different condition now with different problems to solve. So many of us, what we do, start doubting our past choices and regretting and just wish to change it. What if it’s just your hysteria. It’s nothing like that. The very choices you made is representing your present self.
Those perfect souls are still perfect because at that time you never judged them according to their dos or don’ts. But now you are doing that because of this outgrowing factor. No doubt “your world” has changed but the past thoughts are still “your world”.
There’s no world without any past. Every world has a story. Every world has its own beginning.
Some past thoughts:
Now, when this all is real still I’m getting this feeling of not being in reality. It’s not like I’m overthinking and not letting it in. But the feeling of calmness or being neutral, sometimes do confuse you, because of two facts: either you are in the middle of ocean which you asked for so that for only one moment you don’t see anything but a space fill with stillness and wind
or you didn’t ask for it so now you feel lost and in labyrinth.
But in both cases one thing is fixed that the feeling is real, but then why this feeling of “derealization”. This Person is like strawberries. Talks sense but that’s the thing, this person talks so much sense that sometimes I feel like is it even real? Strawberry world doesn’t exist, so do strawberry people. But then why this person feels “perfect”. No doubt, there would be some flaws but these very flaws make this person so beautiful and perfect. Because when i look deep into this person’s soul, all I can see is goodness, pureness, grace and kindness.
It’s been a beautiful journey.
Autumn is gone, winter is in full swing.
And soon spring will come.
I can see the black roots.
In the darkroom, suddenly a yellow gleam appeared.
Looking at the ashes, and thinking about that person.
How perfect that person was. WAS? Maybe still is.
But now the definition has changed.
It feels like cigarettes now, the very definition of perfection is just burning and killing itself and its source.
And when all is gone, a new definition will rise.
But this is a misdeed, what am I thinking?
Tormenting my own thoughts, disrespecting my world.
Still, when I look deep into the soul, I can only see that old grace.
Still smells like strawberries.
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