Trapped in the past

And then she asks me, Do you feel all right? And I say “yes, I feel wonderful tonight”
Eric Clapton singing in the background and this ‘sudden feeling’ inside my mind.

It happens with all of us when we listen to some old song or read some book or even while doing nothing, sometimes a sudden feeling bashes us and makes our heart so heavy. The feeling when the heart is heavy and our intellect without any thoughts, we can feel it but not able to think about it. Sounds confusing but memories usually work like this. Isn’t
that?

This sudden feeling is nothing but a thought from the past or some say “nostalgia” but I prefer to quote it as “a nudge from the past”. The beauty or one can say the worst thing about this sudden touch from the past it always makes us gloomy irrespective of the memories. Gloomy! Yeah, it’s not good but why a beauty? Because it shows the value of good times and lessons from a bad memory. And some memories are worth remembering but the bad ones strike us hard.
We all have this entanglement with our past.

And it’s in human nature that we remember the bad times more often than good times. Past is a strange word yet so familiar, we all are slaves of our past because that’s the only thing or time we just can’t escape. We live in the present, we wish for the future but we experienced the past and now the past is our story so far. We are trapped in the past, the only difference is some can let it go and some can’t.

It’s not about being strong or weak, it’s about feeling the past and reacting over it. So the voice of Eric is hitting my bad memories and it’s gloomy and sad inside my heart. So heavy that I can puke. Funny isn’t it? That still a song can make you feel like this. But still, I’ve this smile on my face because hey! It still is a beautiful song. Still a beautiful life with some bad memories but hey I can always wish for a beautiful future and live with a smile.

I can still explore the possibilities while connecting my emotions to the past. Some say let it go, it will gonna trap you forever but I prefer this connection because these memories from the past make me who I am today and I just can’t let them go. It would be stupid to completely discard these memories, let them be with me.

Let them (past memories) stay, let them be your teachings. Let them be your untold story.
Let them be your motivation.

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