I kind of miss you. The notorious early 20’s… Subject of boundless fun, time of self-exploration and a time where freedom clashes with adulthood before you find yourself in an eccentrically named conurbation somewhere on the outskirts of a city. Doesn’t feel like your future? Don’t worry; I can assure you that is where you are headed and most imperative thing – Happily 😊. It’s not a gloomy existence, it’s everything you want right now, but there are some amusing things you gotta learn on the road to get there.
Metaphorically, I’m not out of my 20’s yet, but I guess the clasp of almost crossing thirty has got me thinking about some things.
As you inch closer to another year of life, I am writing this letter to the younger version of me. I have a few acumens that I want to share with you about my journey and who I am today. First of all, I want to start off by saying that you need to learn to love yourself. You pour so much energy into making everyone else around you happy, thus leaving your own happiness unheeded.
You have pushed yourself to extraordinary lengths to please everyone in your life. As a result, you have often found yourself frustrated, fatigued, and unfulfilled. You work so hard to please people because you are not at peace with yourself. It is impossible to love yourself without first liking yourself. So, take a moment and look in the mirror and reflect on the things that you love about yourself – You are Loved, and You are Worthy of being Loved.
You do not have to impress anyone to feel loved. You gotta comprehend this that love stems from, first having a healthy relationship with yourself. So, respect yourself and love yourself unconditionally. This will save you years of Hurt, Pain, and Abuse.
Loving yourself is the foundation for identity, worth and owning your personal power.
It is imperative that you establish – A Strong Sense of Individuality. I plead, do not waste the most incredible years of your life bound and confined. Stop living your life in an Identity Crisis and most importantly you do not need to acquiesce to a second-class version of yourself. That moment you wake up to this prevailing veracity, I bet it will alter the route of your life forever. You got to trust the footing that your parents put in you. Stop viewing outside of yourself for Authentication or Confirmation.
More prominently, you do not need consent to be who you were created to always remember this and know your worth and your distinctiveness. And trust me, your worth does not change because of the inability of people around you to discern it. There is no need to feel bad because you do not have fame or notoriety. In fact, learn to embrace that because it is one of the signs that will make you a true leader and people will eventually respect you because of your ethics.
Embrace your difference and express it, amid a world that would dreadfully wish to discount it. Don’t you ever feel bad for setting boundaries and higher standards for yourself? This approach will take you far in life thus leaving you startled at who you inspire along the way, by simply choosing to be Authentically You. Additionally, you do not need to be like anyone else. All you need is the audacity to become the greatest version of yourself.
Your difference will define you and distinguish you in the world.
There is no-one or nothing that can invigorate you; it’s you and only you who is in charge to fill your own tank and your tank is fueled by daily acts of compassion to yourself. It is the currency of absolute Self-Love and Self-Acceptance. Compassion isn’t only about self-indulgence or wallowing on material chattels, in fact, It is about ceasing to empower your inner detractor, hushing the disparaging self-talk and stop placing ridiculously high standards on yourself.
You often fall into the ruse of allowing those ‘Mind Sneakers’ to slink into your lexis common, stop play-acting you precisely know what I’m talking about – Words like ‘what if, should, have to’. S.T.O.P using these words instantaneously as these arguments generate prompt apprehensions because you immediately take a plunge into thinking ‘what if it’s the wrong decision? What if I miss out on another opportunity?’ When you function from this space, you are gesticulating Self-Doubt and Darling!! That aint good…. Coz the more you buy into this story, the more you commence to question if you can trust yourself and eventually you hold back. Do things your way – have the valor to carry your own unique spin and philosophies. There are no absolutes – Anything and Everything is up for grabs. There is no ‘should be’ way of articulating who you are – Just Trust Yourself !!!
Hindsight is amazing as you can look back and join the dots to understand that life didn’t happen to you but for you. When you are the dot and don’t have the outlook in a flash, use follow the below to steer you through it:
The glitches you’re facing in life right now are totally conjured up through your own metaphoric telescopic glass.
In life, occasionally things just transpire. You can deem them good or bad if you like. You can also elect whether to focus on the accountability or the opportunity that each present.
Your character isn’t static coz You’re not an object.
You’re liquefied, a transformative being that’s wedged in a trap of your cognizance trying to keep you inundated. It’s not premeditated to make you happy; the intent is to keep you alive.
When you hold back to familiarize yourself or refrain from showing up to a date, That’s Not You…
Stop categorizing with that. That’s not you in a zillion year.
Rather accept that you’re a flawed human being with an intellect designed to protect you from perceived harm, humiliation or mortification. I get that you want to be sure of a whole lot of things before you try it.
Furthermore, I get that you’re petrified and will do everything in your supremacy not to let anyone know it.
But please, just PLEASE, try pacing out of that for a transformation.
Try something else on because all that you’re trying to dodge, all that you’re holding back from and containing, all that’s beneath the surface – Is what’s going to get you everything you’ve ever wanted, Trust me as I say this…
I know you’re striving hard to make something of yourself right now and I applaud your commitment. But the foundation of what’s driving your actions isn’t profound enough to nurture what you want it to.
I am very much aware that you want to grow in your career, your relationships, because you feel like you must and by people telling you to make Mom and Dad proud. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s not enough.
You’re still on the guard of something: Other People’s Opinions.
There’s no need for that as you’re missing all the diminutive marvels every day as you go about “Getting Things Done”.
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